damn what a rainy dreary day! spring has to be here, we just have to find where it is hiding. Oh well, i guess when the beautiful weather finally arrives we appreciate it all that much more. ( is that proper grammar? oh well, that is why this is unfiltered blog!)

well, somethings about sobriety. time to take ownership in previous "lack of responsibility" let me just say, that the us government subsidized most of my early 20's via student loans. this allowed me to travel, buy lots of things, and party like a rockstar! i then drank and partied to oblivion and said "to hell with these lil letters from direct loans, file them in the trash."

guess what? time for me to help pay my share of the federal government bank bailout, i guess to pay for this bail-out, they are collecting on loans owed from students. so, with a clear head, and a desire to step up and be accountable. i'm going to move forward to begin to get right with them. it will suck financially, it is a hefty monthly payment. i could be driving a new mercedes (fully loaded) but i must take ownership and make it right.

eveyone else i owe, to the end of the line! lookin forward to the non-sanctioned aa bowling event my friend my jackie and i have put together this friday night. i will be thinking of my dear friend jane-o who gave me the most stylish bowling ball ever! (too bad she didn't give me any of her skills!) i think the only person i could possibly beat is President Obama!

sometimes our actions/interactions don't always match our intent. this is human nature. when this happens, we must be aware where we were misunderstood, do our best to explain our intent, acknowledge the possibility of the errors we may have made, apologize and hopefully move forward with all parties feeling better and growing from the experience.

i need to remind myself, allow myself to feel even when those feelings hurt. allow myself to live, even when living is hard. this is life.

nj