toxic friendships 2/21/09

hi everyone. thanks for sticking around, i took a couple of days off. but i'm doing well. 20 days of sobriety! feels good to be living and not existing!

remember when you first met a someone who later became a friend or significant other and ended up becoming toxic? i think all of us has met someone and instantly there was a connection unlike any other. remember the times when you would laugh until your stomach ached like an afternoon of 1000 crunches. there were times when with your friend you would cry your eyes dry. of course all the times in between. the beginning stages with the new best friend are incredibly wonderful. can't imagine your life without them.

then something happens. your other friends and family are worried because you spend so much time with your new friend. you begin to ignore the other people you care about so much because this friend has mesmerized you that they are your top priority. you begin to resent your other friends and family. why can't they understand how great your new friend is. this friend understands you unlike anyone else ever has. i mean fuck, why can't they get that?

time continues and there are times where you think maybe i do spend too much time with this friend but it seems to be always fun. you get so comfortable with your friend that you start doing things that you wouldn't normally do and sometimes get into a little trouble. you decide that maybe you do need a little break from your friend and stay away for a while. while away though, your thoughts are just consumed by missing them. you make the call and pick up right were you left off.

this time though, you jump head first, with your friend 24/7. you continue this pattern for a long time. your other friends and family are worried that your life revolves around this friend and you grow resentment for them for interfering with your life.

it gets to the point where you have said "fuck it" if they don't understand, i don't need them and it is just you and your friend. you have shut everyone else out. you continue this for awhile until you finally look at your friend and you say "fuck you". you have ruined my life. you have made the decision to finally cut that "toxic" friend from your life. they have damaged you.

that is my story, not sure if you can relate. toxic friendships can ruin you. oh, my friends name by the way was............alcohol.


nj